So much happening...

3.9.18  I have met so many people.. overwhelmed.  Was entirely alone, now interesting people coming out of the woodwork.  Being prepared for something?  Pay attention, let the spirit flow and amazing things happen.  If our selfish desires get in the way, then we stifle the spirit..

For instance, a disheveled young man asked me for money in front of the Home Depot.  I saw he was in distress, looking like he recently cried, and instead of shrugging him off, or even giving him some change and walking away, I struck up a conversation.  He needed $12 so he and his son could get a hotel.  But more interesting was that he had gotten custody of his son right around the time he kicked a heroin habit, from Judge Joe Massey, the same judge that sentenced Anjelica to death.  In that moment, I learned yet ANOTHER example of how horrible that 'judge's' judgement was.  Couple that with other people I've spoken to, including Sandy (a male) from Sherwin Williams.  Judge Massey disrespectfully told him he needed to learn to crawl before he could run.  I found that offensive as the young man had a good job, and had good character, but maybe old Joe didn't like the guy's personality or skin color and made his outdated judgments on the young man, which is bad enough, but also turned him into an every other weekend dad with a massive child support payment.  He ended up moving out of state.  And that's what happens because what good is it to see your kid every other weekend?  It's better to find a better job and seek other avenues, because you aren't doing much as a dad, especially if your child's mother tries to keep you away from your child.  It angers me so much, because these people in positions of authority are SUPPOSED to know better, and are SUPPOSED to do what is best for a child.  OVER AND OVER, they FAIL.  And it has been destroying the fabric of this country, for decades.  Such a deep sad feeling.  Both because I was that kid without a dad, and I am a dad without his kids.  And also because I know so many people in the same position.  It breaks my heart.

Anyway, so much has happened.  Today I found out I am just about cleared to be a volunteer with National Center of Missing and Exploited Children.  I'm nervous about that because I will be counseling families with missing children.  I'm still traumatized.  It still takes my breath away and makes me weep, sometimes uncontrollably, if I sit and think about stuff.  So many heart aches.  Not just one.  As many interesting people as I've met, I still don't have those closest to me in my life.  That is a lonely place.

My neighbor, Miss Jean, formerly Mrs. Shepherd, fell down and was stuck for an hour before she reached me on the phone.  Poor lady.  She had a horrendous experience at the hospital.  Talk about traumatizing.  I feel very bad for her.  She is a special lady, because she tries so hard to stay positive, but with that comes sadness too, because she has a sensitive heart.  And those kind of people are what make this world worth living in.

I don't know if I wrote about it last time, but I went to a 'meet n greet' where there were local politicians.  One in particular - Jay Jones - has parents who were/are Family Court judges and I thought he would be receptive to my ideas.  Instead he is  concerned with the fact that I pointed out, as the newspaper did, that he spent over 4x as much money on his campaign as the next guy.  Over $100k to get a job that pays less than $20k/yr.  Had to have a lot to do with mom and dad's money and their clout, that got him where he is.  But he's too proud to understand that and would rather defend himself than save children.  Oh well, he was told.  That's all I can do.  Tell them the truth and then wipe the dust off my feet as I leave them.  I did make contact with several other people, including the local Libertarian Party.  I told them about the issues we have with Family Courts.  They didn't know.  Unfortunate.  I spoke to a lady's assistant who is running for Congress.  So it's good to get the bug in people's ear about how dysfunctional our family courts are.

I am very pleased to report that Judge Joe Massey is no longer a judge.  I put in several detailed formal complaints to the court and to the Judicial Inquiry Reform Board and made MANY people very aware of his inadequacies concerning Anjelica.  I believe that's why he was demoted from Chief Judge and ultimately not a judge.  I imagine it's hard to fire a judge since he must first wrap up his cases and instead of creating a big stir, it's better to shoo him away quietly.  Sometimes you have to let them play it their way.  If it was up to me, he'd be in jail. 

All of these 'accomplishments' are very much because I have been granted strength by God above.  You have to understand how broken down I have become.  It makes NO sense that I would be able to make these kinds of strides, including having some male and female friends, or acquaintances - potential friends.  Although Caleb and Parshandatha have been there a long time.  They have been been exceptionally kind and thoughtful.  I even thought for a minute Shan and I would become romantic, but we have been friends too long.  She was here for me during my surgery last March 2.  I was very down.  She gave me hope.  That is God.  Just like the Jehovah's Witnesses being so spiritually helpful and generous.  Although I now see that I don't agree with some of their teachings, I still appreciate them and have learned a lot.

I spoke in depth to Cathy Terkanian, who, as a young mother, was duped into giving up her baby girl, who was later murdered by the adoptive father.  She was adopted out of Norfolk, VA and the case is unsolved.  So heart breaking, because when a case grows old, people care less and she works so hard.

I've spoken with so many parents, in depth about their situations, filled with tragedy and triumph, but always God is present.  Amazing really.  Monica Giglio, Charles Stecker, Marshall Allen, Micheal Lazarin, Kristie Sharp Saylor, Robert Slaven, Brandon Madrid, Kimberly Johnson, Steven Ball, Brenda Bryant, Francesca Amato-Banfield, and so many more.  These Facebook friends are more than invisible internet friends.  They are warriors, scarred from battle, and I am honored to call them my church.  

"It is those that stumble that will be like David, and the House of David like God, the angel of Jehovah going before them..." - Zechariah 12:9

At the end of the day, I still often feel the looming sense of despair...

Zachariah Hoffer

Father of 3 precious girls. Trying to love. Despite my brokenness and despite evil in this world.

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